“Let’s do shots!”

May 11, 2012

I may often paint my fellow Noblers as booze-fiending, loyal followers of the experiment but…Well that’s true. However, some of them can write…

Everyone knows him. We ALL went to college with him. We might have even been him…always lurking behind you waiting for a lull in the action when he sweeps in and buys everyone that delicious well shot.  You know, the one that could come in a variety of plastics bottles labeled with the fabled names of pirates, comrades, hombres, or southern game foul.  People either love or hate this guy, because he may be just what the doctored ordered when you’re 19 holding your fake ID stating that your 30.  But when you actually ARE the age of your fake ID, this guy is a volatile addition to any night.

Lets all be honest.  Navigating a complex social world of high school and college takes a certain amount of charisma, which we may not possess at that point in our lives.  You usually find yourself in mixed crowds of greeks, geeks, athletes, or any other mix of groups in college.  Most of us don’t have the gravitas of a talk show host like Conan O’Brien or even a Carson Daly (despite him being a huge douche) in order to entertain, relate, and generally get along with this diverse group of people, hence the necessity for the “Let’s Do a Shot” Guy.  The comfort of the ritual and bonding that takes place is something everyone relates to no matter what your GPA or social standing.  This guy was a hero, and, hell, to bring this kind of magic to the table when all you need is a $10 bill, he was an invaluable part of the team.  But college is over and all we have left are hazy memories of having great times with great people whom we probably don’t even talk to anymore, because a lot of what you had in common was this very ritual of getting wasted: sitting at a bar and doing shots of vodka that would strip the paint off of your dorm walls (If you removed the tapestry first).

I don’t want to downplay the importance of the “Let’s Do a Shot” Guy.  Your friends already convinced you to drink the night before a term paper is due, which you haven’t even read the book yet, let alone put pen to paper, but now you have this guy staring you in the face calling you a pussy for not doing a shot of spiced rum that tastes more like spiced gas.  This is peer pressure at it’s best, and you’re falling for it again, but to “be” a pussy was not an option.  But it did lead to some pretty fun times that you fondly look back on.

Now that you’re an “adult”, you would expect this guy to disappear like the zits on your teenage face as you blossom into a responsible grown-ass man, but that is not always the case.  You still find yourself in awkward situation such as work functions or after-game team drinking where people regress into the comforts of doing shots.  Now the stakes are higher because, first off, a shot of crap whisky is around $8-$10, and you are leading an early morning meeting tomorrow, which you really haven’t prepared for.  This guy really has a hold on you and it turns out your decision-making skills still suck.

Think about the “Let’s Do a Shot” Guy, and you will realize these people are now either salespeople who know how to “talk” to people but really never are able to relate to anyone, or they are social misfits who just don’t know how to have a conversation until they are four shots in.  This guy is not really a friend of yours. 

In conclusion, the “Lets Do a Shot” Guy is meandering aimlessly through his social world and hanging on to this last vestige of destructive behavior as his weapon of likeability, but don’t buy into it.  We are now employed, informed, and empowered to buy good booze and beer and enjoy them like adults.  Friends who drink beer together, stay together.  I’ll have to leave the other species of party-boy, the “Lets Pound a Beer” Guy for another article.

– Dan Sicina

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