A 7 Year Old Conspiracy

May 30, 2012

Bachelor parties thrive off of two inherently conflicting forces of celebration and punishment. On one hand, we as friends do our part to ensure, you the bachelor, are having the time of your life. This is about you, my friend! But then again, I guess we’re also supposed to push the limits? Embarrass you? Put you through the ringer? I’ll be honest, and admit, I’ve never understood how far some folks take this portion of the “fun”, which is why I’m glad to say, this past weekend’s festivities, celebrating our fellow Nobler’s impending marriage, was way more of the former making for a pretty stellar Brigantine/AC weekend. Although, when I took a look at this bottle of Old Monk Very Old Vatted XXX Rum, I was pretty sure this had to be part of the “punishment”.

“Posession by persons other than defence personnel is strictly prohibited”

This fantastic disclaimer and the plastic bottle alone had me convinced but the burning sensation and immediate panic as my esophagus started to dissolve (anyone know if this is possible? would love to remove that from the anxiety list), sealed the deal. In this way, this rum was hysterically appropriate for a bachelor party. “Keep drinking buddy!”

But here’s the thing: As I started to do some research on the impressively quick AC bus ride home, all I could find was link after link of praise. Apparently the third largest sales based rum distributed world-wide, Old Monk is touted for its word of mouth popularity, as advertising has never been a part of their business model. Additionally touted for its strong vanilla flavor, the few reviewers I could find online seem to prefer this stuff over some of the more common brands I was aware of. I’ll agree with the vanilla flavor as one of the other guys astutely commented “It tastes like grain alcohol flooded with vanilla extract”. This for you, still a little slow from the extra day off, was not a compliment.

So am I missing something? Is this a joke someone is playing on me? Old Monk aficionados: explain yourself!



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